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She took me to her castle, and I just couldn't believe my eyes... [ ]
[ mood | stressed ]
[ music | Darling Nikki by Prince ]

Ugh.

SCHOOL = Stress
FLOYD = Stress
My So called "FRIENDS" = Stress
Working = STRESS
Vanderbilt Community Service Stuff = STRESS
My Health = STRESS
AP World History = STRESS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ahhh Everything is so stressful lately, I think I have an ulcer.
I'm just trying to understand...
since when did being concerned make you a bad person?
And why is it that someone can accuse you of something so untrue...
I was told someone thought I liked people they liked just for that simple reason.
The only person I like right now is Floyd.
Yes, I HAVE CONVERSATIONS with members of the opposite sex.
That doesn't mean I like them.
Even if I did....noone ever talks to me anymore...so I wouldn't know who liked who TO do something that shitty.

I have a cyst on one of my organs.
Doctors aren't fun.
They don't think it's cancerous...
yet.


Mrs. Lay hates me.
Nothing new.

I have to come up with a charity to begin/carry out by myself...
right now I can't even remember how to program a quiz for Roberts' class.

Today's the 27th day I haven't talked to Floyd or seen him.
I won't see him for another 16 days...
and I'll only see him then if I'm lucky.

WORKING.
nuff said.





ANDREA ENCOURAGES YOU ALL TO PONDER WHY YOU WANT TO COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.
PROBLEMS SUCH AS:
'lyke omg lyke woah my boyfriend and I can't decide which movie to go see Friday'
'omg I have a b in an AP class. poor me.'
'I don't have my license, how will I live?'





ALL OF THESE ARE STUPID.
and you all are so blind of things anymore.

One Last Rose

Love is tragic, Love is bold...you will always do what you are told. Love is hard [ ]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | Bic Runga ~ Sway ]

I babysat Ginny and Gracie today. I had to go all hitler on Ginny...she wouldn't behave...so I made her divide her room into four quadrants, pick up one quadrant at a time, and then clean the dishes. She actually had a good time doing it all...so I didn't feel as bad. We watched Ichabod Crane....I haven't seen that since I was like 7...it was really cool to be a kid for an hour and stop acting thirty for once.

It reminded me of how Floyd and I are. It's like when I'm with him, I don't have to please anyone. I'm just myself...and that's probably one of the best feelings a person can ever have. I had that with Scarlett....and not many other people. I miss it.

I'm hoping Floyd goes to Chip's party. This whole thing with his dad bites...but then again...I didn't really want us to get too invovled in high school anyways...those things almost never actually work...and with my luck it wouldn't. So, it isn't that I am mad at his dad. I understand where he would be concerned that his typical horny eighteen year old son would be fooling around with a 15 year old girl who occupies most of his son's free time. It makes pefect sense. I just have a void where Floyd isn't there.

Anyways...I really need to bring up my grades. Ever since this whole Floyd thing, my AP World grade has dropped to like a 47. It's pathetic. I'm ashamed.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't stray, don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time
Don't let me drown, let me down
I say it's all because of you

And here I go, losing my control
I'm practising your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it's time to tell you why
I say it's infinitely true

Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you
Don't stray, don't ever go away

One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | empty ]
[ music | Tonic ~ You wanted More ]

I spent 100 dollars in the span of 30 minutes.
Whew.
I'm so bored lately.
I need Floyd-ness.
I need something else too...
just can't figure out what it is.


I feel empty...

hmm.

One Last Rose

I stole this from Rozina. [ ]
The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Your exact opposite:
Genghis Khunt

Random Brutal Sex Master
Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.


ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth

CONSIDER: The Loverboy


Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: cover_girl08
One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | Tool ~ Schism ]

Have you ever noticed how everything I love leaves me?
For once I'd like to leave someone.
I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate happy/stupid people.
Why pretend you're something you're not?
Why leave someone hanging...knowing once you leave they have nothing left?
I wish I knew how some people are able to sleep at night.

(1) One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Beyonce ~ Me, Myself & I ]

Lately has been so crappy.
I haven't talked to Floyd in fifteen days. That's two weeks and a day.
Blah.
Part of me thinks maybe I should take a hint that he doesn't care anymore...
but part of me still says he'll call...and have a good reason for not calling.
I feel abandoned and just..useless about the whole thing.

I don't regret anything that happened between us.
It just hurts he's throwing it away.

Why did I depend on him? Why did I think he'd make everything great? Why did I let this fall through?
Why did I allow myself to get so upset? Why did I let things go as far as they did without stopping them?


I question myself tons.

One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | shitty ]
[ music | Chicago ~ If You Leave Me Now ]

It has been 2 weeks since I saw/heard from Floyd.
I don't think I should call anymore, since by calling all the time I'm just exemplifying the behavior of every typical female.
I thought about writing him a letter.
A letter he'll never see, but a letter that would at least help me.
I just like writing it all and putting it all out there.

I'd probably get too upset though.
Everything is so dull right now.
Two weeks....
maybe he's just not into me anymore?

I don't know.
I'm so confused it isn't even funny.



I love him. I know that much.
I did a lot of thinking.
Love isn't getting butterflies around someone, or freaking out because you have the same interests as them.
It's not even telling someone that they are your world.
Love is being there for someone.
Knowing that if that person is puking their guts out, you'll be there to clean up the puke, and you will still love them.
Love is knowing even if you're yelling at someone, you're pondering in the back of your head what they'd want for dinner that night.
Love is sitting in a traffic jam and deciding to run to the restaraunt instead of waiting because you don't want that person to think you were late.
Love is laughing at a joke that isn't even remotely funny.
Love is calling in sick at work to spend the day together....even if it means getting fired.
Love is singing Barry White songs at the top of your lungs in a public place just to make someone smile.
Love is looking at the stars together and talking about being a kid.
Love is seeing everything together as an adventure.
It's trying new things.
It's standing on a ledge.
It's falling off a cliff and knowing in the long run, that moment where you are falling was worth it.
It's Floyd crying in a Hardees and then covering it up to look manly.
It's asking for Tylenol and accepting a kiss instead.
It's riding in a ghetto car to Louisville and back, when you told your parents you were at the mall.
Love is saying someone deserves a rose and giving them a reese.

 

 

Love is seeing more in one person's eyes than you can see in any encyclopedia.

One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | bootylicious. ]
[ music | Stevie Nicks ~ The Edge of Seventeen ]

Wow. Yesterday was good for me.
I can't wait to be older.


Melissa is dating this junior Tyler Sipes from Franklin.
They're either dating or talking..basically dating. lol.
He seems like a real sweetheart!
It's cute.


Maybe this break is good.
I've been thinking about have a New Years Eve party.
Comment on your opinion.
I might wait until Valentine's Day.
I'd hope Floyd could come either way.
oh well, tell me what you think.

One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | determined ]
[ music | Destiny's Child ~ Bootylicious(long story) ]

I have a feeling winter is a great time to be in love.
I just do.



I talked to Tina on the phone today.
That cheered me up.
I talked to Dylan at school today too.


I want to worry but I know it's better to focus on other things.

One Last Rose

I stole this from Hannah [ ]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | Queen ~ Killer Queen ]

What tomorrow means to me:
getting new perfume to add to my collection.
going hiking to try and relax my mind.
Drinking starbucks and reading cosmo...
every Sunday should be like that.

I'm going to rearrange my room. My Feng Shui is so off right now.

Anyways:

(( YOU ))
1. Full Name_ Andrea Lauren Chaney
2. Nicknames_ Marb, Farbie, CHANEY
3. City / State_ Scottsville, KY
4. Birthday_ June the Sixth
5. Age_ 15
6. Zodiac Sign_ GEMINI
7. School_ Allen County Scottsville High School! Go Patriots! lol
8. Hobbies_ ehhh...MATH.
9. Sports_ Ateam? lmao. sometimes Basketball if I feel like it.
10. Height_ 5'8
11. Weight_ what kind of question is that?
12. Shoe Size_ CUTE
13. Righty or Lefty_ Lefty.

(( FAMILY ))
1. Parents Names_ John and Carole
2. Siblings / Ages_ John Eric Gott Chaney...he's Twenty Three
3. Do you get along with your parents_ Sometimes
4. Do you get along with your siblings_ Most of the Time.
5. Do you all live together_ No.

(( FAVORITES ))
1. Day of the week_ Thursday
2. Month_ April or March.
3. Season_ Spring
4. Holiday_ Valentine's Day
5. Movies_ Mona Lisa Smile, The Crow, Love & Basketball, 50 First Dates (aww Floyd)
6. Actors_ Hugh Grant
7. Actresses_ Renee Zellweger or maybe... Kim Catrall
8. TV Shows_ Sex and the City, Desperate Housewives
9. Songs_ Open Arms by Journey, At Last by Etta James, Trash by Korn, Pump It Up by Missy Elliott, Mi Mancherai by Josh Groban.
10. Music Groups_ Journey, Korn, Chicago, Disturbed.
11. Music Singers_ Etta James, Missy Elliott, Ella Fitzgerald, Josh Groban
12. Quote_ "Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit, a refuge from the goading urgency of contingent happenings. " ~Alfred North Whitehead
13. Colors_ pink and champagne
14. Animals_ Dogs...MANATEES
15. Flowers_ Tulips.
16. Books_ The Firm by John Grisham, The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, All the HP books, 1776 by David McCullogh, The Significance of Pi by Marcia Robinson, Calculus as a world by John Milliard.
17. School Subject_ MATH
18. Foods_ General Tso's Sauce over rice
19. Drinks_ Shirley Temples & Green Tea
20. Ice Cream_ Mint Chocolate Chip Frozen Yogurt
21. Pizza Toppings_ Pineapple & Ham

(( FRIENDS ))
1. Best Friends_ Scarlett, Floyd, Ashley, Lance, Chip, Craig, Daniel, Hannah, Kacey...it goes on and on
2. Funniest_ Lance
3. Most Trustworthy_ Ashley
4. Most Loyal_ Ashley
5. Most Honest_ Lance
6. Gives you Advice_ Hannah or Chip
7. Funniest_ Lance
8. Loudest_ Craig
9. Shyest_ Floyd is shy around everyone else
10. Most Boycrazy_ I don't like boycrazy people.
11. Most Trendy_ Danica
12. Lives closest to you_ Kane?
13. Lives farthest away from you_ Lance
14. Are you most like_ Ashley probably...I don't know
15. Most talented_ Floyd
16. Best Singer_ Floyd
17. Best Dancer_ lmao. Floyd.
18. Most memories with_ Scarlett, Hannah, or Floyd

(( RELATIONSHIPS ))
1. Boyfriend/Girlfriend_ basically Floyd.
2. Crush_ Floyd<333
3. Qualities you look for_ Someone who can make me laugh, and someone who impresses my friends and family. Also someone who understands me.
4. First Kiss_ Mikey.
5. First Relationship_ Tyler Willoughby...wait. No. Eli McDuffee
6. Most Romantic Moment_ Floyd and I laying under the stars together on August 13th.
7. Personality or Looks_ personality

(( THIS OR THAT ))
1. Baseball or Football_ Basketball. I hate Baseball and Football. But...since Floyd likes it...Baseball.
2. Ben Stiller or Ben Affleck_ Affleck
3. Cat or Dog_ Dog
4. Truck or Car_Car
5. Rain or Sun_ Rain
6. Winter or Summer_ winter
7. Love or Lust_ In my opinion the two go hand in hand.
8. Aladdin or Beauty and the Beast_ Aladdin
9. Movies or Broadway_ Broadway
10. CD or Tape_ CD
11. DVD or VHS_ VHS..I'm old school.
12. Ham or Turkey_ Turkey
13. Feet or Hands_ Hands...
14. Legs or Arms_ Arms
15. Dance or Singing_ Dance
16. Cell or Housephone_ Housephone
17. Friends or BF/GF_ It depends on the situation.
18. Flying or Driving_ Driving.
19. Running or Jogging_ Running
20. Apple pie or Pumpkin pie_ Pumpkin Pie
21. Christmas or Birthday_ Christmas
22. Pink or Blue_ aww Pinks my fave color...Blue is Floyd's fave.
23. White or Black_ White.
24. Britney or Christina_ Britney, much better marketing skills.
25. iPod or MP3_ MP3

((LOVE))

[Do you consider love a mistake?] No...who does?
[What do you find romantic?] Chivalry...
[Turn-on?] Floyd
[Turn-off?] BUNNIES
[If someone you had no interest in had interest in dating you, how would you feel?] bad.
[Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or during?] Before...*sighs*
[Have you ever wished it was more socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out?] Yes...sort of...but tradition is romantic.
[Would you have sex if someone asked you right now?] depends on the person...?
[What is the worst thing about the opposite gender?] Their fear of love.
[What's the last gift someone gave you?] Floyd gave me a sticker.
[Are you in love?] I love him. We aren't in love necessarily.
[Do you consider your significant other hot?] Freak Yes.

One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | gloomy ]
[ music | Bjork ~ Army of Me ]

I stayed home today.
I feel like crap.
I'll be back for the Academic Team game though.


Things are really crappy lately.
Sometimes I don't know why something always gets in the way of happiness.
No matter who you are, if things are going perfect...
you just wait for something to come along and screw it up.
Usually it does.

I'm really confused ...

Hopefully we'll beat Monroe County tonight.

One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | indifferent ]
[ music | Black Eyed Peas ~ My humps ]

If I don't hear from Floyd by December Ninth I guess I'll know it's over for him.
Which Bites.
I pray to God that I do hear from him by then.
I don't want this to be over. I'm trying not to think about it AS much.


I'm wanting to start several things.
I just need motivation.
gr.

One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Blessed Union Of Souls ~ I believe ]

5 days...no Floyd.
In Andrea speak that's like 5 months with no Floyd...at least that's what it feels like.
I don't see why he wouldn't want to talk to me...this is something between him and his parents...not
me and him.
I just don't understand.
Why wouldn't he want to talk to me?
It doesn't add up.

I feel sick...
and I feel even sicker knowing if we don't ever see each other again...
even in 50 years I still won't be over him.

One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | Joss Stone ~ Spoiled ]

I just want to fly.
Put your arms around me baby,
Put your arms around me baby.

At about 5:46 p.m. on Thursday Nov. 3rd, everything changed.
Floyd, I love you to pieces and I hope we can pull through this without becoming something else.
Sometimes people put obstacles in front of you and you really can't react.
This is one of those times.

I can't react. I can only pray to God this works itself out.
This isn't in my hands anymore, and that frustrates me terribly.
Usually I get in situations where I can actually do something.
This time I can't.
The thing I'm most afraid of is that if we don't get to see one another again,
he won't know how much he DOES mean to me.
It's hard to tell people things like that in words, so generally I never did.
I hope miracles do exist.
I hope it will all be ok.

Of course I did the Andrea thing though and at least found one positive aspect of this whole situation.
This time apart will make both of us reevaluate our feelings for one another.
That could be good.
That could be great.


 

If you have a minute why don't we go talk about it somewhere only we know. This could be the end of everything. So why don't we go... somewhere only we know.
One Last Rose

blehhhh [ ]
I think I might make a new lj. This one isn't fun anymore.
One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Korn ~ Trash ]

I feel like drawing lately...
everytime I go to though...
I don't know what to draw.

Oh well.
Someone called me today from a 791 number. I don't think 791 is a franklin number...but who knows.
I miss you know who.
Maybe I'll see him tomorrow...then again..maybe not.

I don't feel very well today.
I'm just blech.

One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | Missy Elliott ~ Pass That Dutch ]

Today was ok.
Mr Willett was fascinated by my hair...he was like 'omg...it's pretty..I like how you cut it..' and I go 'I didn't cut it.' and he was amazed that it just looked different.
Weird.
Anyways.
I miss Floyd.
I really really really do.
I think I'm going to make him a mix cd.
That'd be really fun. I was thinking about what I'd put on it...I figured it'd be songs that are special to the both of us. so....here's what I have so far...every song has a significance.
yayness:

1.) Chicago ~ Just You and Me
2.) Journey ~ Open Arms
3.) Lou Reed ~ Take a Walk on the Wild Side
4.) Steve Miller Band ~ The Joker
5.) Kansas ~ Carry On My Wayward Son
6.) Extreme ~ More Than Words



hmm that's all I have right now...not a lot....but I can think of more later.

Off of Floyd,
I'm really enjoying this new math book I got.
It gives brief explanations and overviews of high school/early college math curriculum...
it also adds fun facts of math history.
I want to write a book about math history.
It's so interesting.
Whew.

One Last Rose

ahhh. [ ]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Journey ~ Faithfully ]

I've heard a lot lately about friends talking about me....
and being concerned about me....
and thinking a lot of different things about me yet not telling me to my face.

So, here it is.
I don't know why everyone is seeming to drift apart...but...
maybe that's just a part of high school.
It's not my fault. It isn't anyone else's fault.
Things just happen.
It's became clear to me that things don't matter to people anymore. If I get in a fight with one of my friends, they don't care. We all have different things we are worried about...
and we don't worry about one another like we used to.

I just want to clear a few things up because I've heard that things have been said...and I want you all to hear things FROM ME::::

1.) I do eat, I'm not bulemic or however you spell it. Yes, I do obsess over my weight. Unfortunately I have a disease and can't lose a lot...so it really shouldn't be blown out of proportion like I'm starving myself or something. Even if I did starve myself, it wouldn't matter....I'm not going to get really skinny or something. Sometimes I don't eat because I'm not hungry. I really don't eat a lot. I never have...even when I was little. I just don't care.
2.) Yes, I do talk about Floyd a lot. That's because he makes me happy. After Scarlett died, I felt like I couldn't be myself around anyone....like no one would ever understand me. I felt like nobody would ever just accept me and make me smile about the littlest things. Floyd does though. And I talk about him a lot because i care about him. I feel so much for him it can't be put into words. I've heard a lot of you are concerned that he and I aren't going to work out....and that you think if we didn't I'd be devastated and depressed and stuff....and you know, I probably would be. That's a risk I'm willing to take though. I know how much he means to me and vice versa. Even if none of you get it because you think we should be officially going out now or whatever...well...we're not because it's just not happening yet. We have our reasons, and everyone of you will have to just trust me on that. He and I have many things that we keep just between us. We don't get to see each other a lot...so a lot of times we keep things that happen between us private...because that's stuff that only we know. It's special. I can't explain how happy he makes me. I can't explain how much I feel for him. I know I talk about him a lot....but I love him.
I don't mean to make any of you worried...I just love him. End of story.
3.) Another thing, I've heard some of you think I'm trying to be someone I'm not. Well, that's not true. Even if I talk about Floyd a lot...and I hang out with different people nowadays....I'm still the same Andrea. I hang out with other people....but everyone does that. I like different people. I'm not shunning anyone I usually hang out with, I just have different friends. That shouldn't be a big deal at all. Even if some of you don't like the people I consider friends, it shouldn't matter. I don't expect anyone to JUST hang out with a certain group, and I'd hope I'd have that same respect from all of you.


That's it right now...
comment if you care.
If you don't...then just don't.

(1) One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | Journey ~ When you Love a woman ]

Isn't it funny how people just forget things...like they're past you or something?
People are so narrow minded these days.
How do they expect things to happen when they are preoccupied with everything else?
They don't realize good things come to you if you prepare for them.
People think things are going to be handed to them.
Clearly, they aren't.


It saddens me that more than half of my friends don't even know what's going on with me anymore.
It saddens me even more that they don't care.

Anyways...I talked to Ashley today.
I bet her and Joseph will look very cute as peter pan & tinkerbell.
:)
Floyd is very cute.
Especially when he's singing.


I have to go babysit.

One Last Rose

[ ]
[ mood | thankful ]
[ music | Missy Elliott ft. Pharell ~ On and On ]

Last night was great.
It's always great with him.
I love when he opens up to me. I feel special. :)
He's happy.
I'm happy.
We're happy.


Good Luck to the band at VMI.
yayyyy.

(1) One Last Rose

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